Goddamn Job
by stilljustme
Summary: Episode tag to S2x3 (U-Boat). Just a little Ben/Cooper Moment, no slash.


_This is my first attempt at Southland, I just started watching it and immediately got hooked… I know this page isn't quite famous for reviews, but I'd be very grateful if you told me what you think. Even or especially when you think it's crap._

"He owed me a favor." Cooper didn't dug further into the matter as they watched the ladder getting up and the shoes finally getting down. It was a matter of seconds – for what had damaged the boy's day, and probably more. Ben knew enough about it. Days like this didn't leave with the sun, they stayed in your memory, piercing your brain and what little confidence you have left.

The shoes fell down with a thunk and the young officer felt a heavy weight falling off his heart with it. At least he had got one thing right today. Just that it wouldn't bring Stella Holmes back.

"I heard you did a good job with a missing girl today." Cooper's eyes never left the shoes. They lay lonely on the street now that the firefighters were gone again, disappeared into the depths of a night Ben both longed for and dreaded.  
"She's alive", he said calmly, "but her father still won't admit she's ill. Chances are high she'll run away again."  
"But now they know where to look for her."  
Ben shrugged. "She wasn't in danger."

The memory of the last hours got the better of him after all. Stella Holmes was dead, and he had bashed her killer just the same way he had done with her. The man had been handcuffed, ready for the police to bring him to justice. His own colleagues had been there, sworn brothers in blue. Like he was. And still he hadn't trusted them enough to treat that son of a bitch right. He had kept hitting him, and Stella was still dead. Now the others complicated him for being such a badass, and Stella was still dead.  
He brought a hand up over his face. It wasn't only Stella's face he saw right now, bloody and pale. It was Chloe's and Olivia's faces that he saw in his mind. There was nothing he wouldn't do for his sisters, and the suddenness and cruelty Stella had been killed with had shocked him deeper than he cared to admit. It was so easy to lose everything, and if one day he wouldn't be there in time to protect them…

"I'm feeling useless" he murmured, ripping off a blade of grass and throwing it away, then another one. "We're wasting our time looking for lost cats and knocking out neighbors that celebrate too loud and…"  
"…caring for the people in L.A.? I'm sorry to remind you, Sherman, but that's our goddamn job!"

He felt the younger one wince at his words and sighed. "And I think you're good in that goddamn job. You're not the worst rookie I've ever worked with. And for your first ride alone, your day wasn't too bad. You even got a pair of shoes!"  
"That's not mine." Ben stood up and grabbed the shoes, then walked past his TO and placed them on the door mat. His mind was half on ringing and waking up the father, but the man would only make his son pay for it again. For one day, Ben had overstepped enough boundaries.

"But the girl's life is on you. Not the other one's death, you hear me? She was killed. That's bad. But that's our job. We get to see and cope with that so other people won't have to. But that a little boy got back his sister, that was your doing. Now keep that in your mind."John Cooper didn't compliment others easily, and especially not his peers – so when he did complicate, he wanted his words to be accepted. And he knew that Ben reacted strongly at brother-sister-relationships. That boy was too sensitive, despite all that had had happened in his youth. Or just because of that. He looked up to the rookie in front of him, not sure how to get away. His back hurt like hell, no way he could stand up alone right now.

Ben offered a hand. "Thank you."  
Cooper took a deep breath. Both of them knew that the hand extended wasn't a sign of gratitude, but what choice did he have? Reluctantly and with clenched teeth, the older officer let himself be helped up.  
"Don't mention it", he growled as they walked over to the car. "Never again. You hear me?"  
A weak smile flit over Ben's face. "Yes, sir."  
"And next time you see sneakers like that, Sherman, take them! You still look like a grind from the academy!"


End file.
